Navigating a co-parenting relationship is difficult at the best of times. It is inevitable that eventually, one or both of you will meet someone new and form a relationship. A successful co-parenting relationship will face a new set of challenges when a new partner is introduced into the lives of your children.
If a new partner is becoming part of the lives of your children, it is necessary to find a way to make that a healthy and positive experience. The best plan is to now work on developing a co-parenting relationship with both your former spouse and their new partner.
Avoid an emotional response
While each relationship is different, human emotions remain the same. It is natural to have an emotional rather than a logical response to this new person coming into your children’s lives. No matter how long it has been, or what the circumstances of the separation, your former partner is someone you once shared a relationship with, and someone with whom you will be connected through your children forever.
While those feelings are normal, it is also important for your children and for the sake of your co-parenting relationship, to deal with them in an appropriate way. If you have genuine concerns about your co-parent’s new partner, speaking with a family lawyer is a good first step toward guidance and support in this new chapter of your life.
Your children deserve ALL the love
There is no doubt that it may be difficult for you to see your children showing affection toward a new person that has been introduced into their lives. It is difficult and scary to feel as though you may be being replaced. Remember that, just as you have the capacity to love all of your children, your children also have the capacity to love all of their parents, step parents and extended family. The idea that your children’s family has opened up and now includes even more people to love them should be celebrated, and your children should feel welcome to love them back. As challenging as it may be, it is in the best interest of your children to encourage and support these relationships as their parent and the person they look to for guidance and acceptance.
Create a family environment
Blended families can all be fully included and involved with the children. Expanding your children’s support system does not reduce any one person’s role in that.
Attend sports and school events together, celebrate milestones together if that is something you and your former spouse would normally have done. If your children want your co-parent’s new partner to be involved, welcome them with open arms. In my personal life, I have even attended medical and dental appointments where it was just me (Mom) and step-mom.
Parenting after separation is never easy. There will be ongoing challenges to face as life evolves. Some of these things can be anticipated, some cannot. It’s a great idea to have some sort of plan as to how a new partner will fit into a co-parenting relationship. Planning for smooth transitions between life’s ebbs and flows is a great tool for successful parenting after separation.
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This WARDS LAWYERS PC publication is for general information only. It is not legal advice, nor is it intended to be. Specific or more information may be necessary before advice could be provided for your particular circumstances.
